People ask me what are we planning to do for Joe’s one-year? It’s fast approaching on May 28, 2018 and every time I think of that question, I feel sick to my stomach. I begin to sweat, I feel lightheaded, it takes everything in me to breathe, and my body starts to shiver. I’m not much in a celebratory mood these days and I’m definitely not thinking how we should honor his life on the day he left this world. Yet, I don’t want to disrespect his memory. What am I suppose to do? Is there a book somewhere I can read that helps me understand not only this whole grief journey, but on top of that I’m suppose to have some kind of (what?) on the anniversary of this indescribable loss? I’m on the fence here, can someone please point me in the right direction because I’m seriously about to jump at any moment. My son, he is my heartbeat. I’m exhausted in pain. When will my heart begin to heal, please tell me. How do I continue to navigate this life without my son. I’m absolutely lost.

Don’t let go…

6 thoughts on “One Year Coming Soon

  1. I am so sorry you are hurting, Elaine. Don’t feel like you have to do anything beyond sitting and remembering. On the other hand, if something comes to mind that would brighten your day even a little, do it. How we spend this first anniversary is as personal and unique as our children. That hug picture is priceless.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am so, so sorry for your tremendous loss and the horrendous grief that accompanies it. I cannot tell you how to get through the “anniversary” of the most horrible day of your life, but I can say to give yourself permission to take care of you, even though that may feel like the last thing in the world you should do. Take care of you. God bless you and your family as the day approaches. Hugs and prayers for you.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. There is no “ supposed to do”. It’s your grief.your son .only you will know in your aching heart what will be the “ right” way to get through this day without succumbing to the brokenness you feel.
    I will be thinking of you.

    Liked by 2 people

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