FEAR

Fear, does it scare you? If yes, what is your greatest fear in life? Name just one.

Fear makes thinking hurt. Sometimes it hurts so hard I can’t breathe. I often fall to my knees …in silence.

Fear is real.

Life. It can blindside a family in a blink. Fear, what do we most fear in life? This one has been inside my head for a very long time. It sits quietly inside my soul, hibernating until something triggers panic and suddenly it all bursts!

Memories of the past are constant, my mind spins in circles, it vibrates and vibrates all day every day. It’s torture to live this life without one of my children.

Fear is real.

As a Mother (or Father), we have children, raise them with every ounce of love in our entire being. We create beautiful memories over the years, we talk to them about life and all the beauty it has to offer. We also talk to them about the dangers and how bad people are out there and to always be cautious. If you have to think twice about doing something, uncertainty, then don’t do it because it’s probably a bad decision. But, nobody’s perfect, we teach our kids to learn from those mistakes. Not fear them.

Fear is real.

Do we ever think it could actually happen? Could our worst FEAR in life as a parent really come true? I’m here to tell you ABSOLUTELY it sure can and it happened to me. One day my son is here laughing, loving, giving, living…saying I love you Ma I’ll be home later. Then, the next day he is gone. Forever. Just like that….gone.

Fear is real.

Hold on to your children and loved ones, embrace their love and love more. Forgive more. Enjoy the tiniest of things more. Put your cell phone down more. Listen more. Be in the moment more. Slow down more. Turn off the television more. Checkin more with your kids even if it annoys them. Ask questions more. If you can “feel” something isn’t right with your child, then it probably isn’t, so keep on …more. Let them know whatever is going on..it’s fixable, say it more. Say I LOVE YOU AND APPRECIATE YOU more, out loud every day.

Fear is real.

Yes, Fear is real. But so is Courage, and Strength, and Determination, Joy, Confidence, Bravery, Love, Fearlessness, Faith, Happiness, and so much more. If Fear is haunting you, change it before it’s too late.

Published by Losing Joe - Finding My Way Thru Grief

My name is Elaine Suarez, I am a mother of 3 children; Joseph 27, Allie 25, Juliana 21. I’ve been married to the love of my life, Isadore, for 33 years. We’ve been blessed with three healthy and beautiful children. We raised our kids with unconditional love, joy for family, knowing our Catholic Faith, and the importance of working hard to achieve life goals. The five of us never left each others presence without saying, “I love you.” We are an extremely close family. On the morning of May 29, 2018, at approximately 11:00 am, I received a phone call from the coroner's office notifying me that our only son, Joseph Anthony Suarez, age 27, was deceased. And, just like that, in a matter of less than 2 seconds our life would never again be the same. Everything changed, we changed. Joseph (Joe) was only 27 and his life had come to an abrupt and devastating end. He is the eldest of three, he is our only son and only brother to our two daughters. Joe’s life ended way too soon. This was not fixable. The coroner kept his body for 21 days; therefore, we never got to say goodbye. His body was not the same body we last seen on May 28, 2018..healthy, vibrant, moving in life with no fear yet full of love for family, friends, and life itself. We chose to remember our son the way we last seen him, not on a steel flat gurney and unrecognizable after being touched and God knows what else from the autopsy. We celebrated his life remembering all the beautiful things he gave to each of us, his smile and his infectious personality that lit up a room the moment he entered, his love for us and our love for him. He is and will forever be with us, his spiritual self is way too big to not be here and I will work as best as I can to keep that beautiful spirit alive. I made Joe a promise on the day I said out loud in his bedroom while on my knees, “Okay God, I’m going to give him back to you because I want him safe and at peace.” I promised Joe I will NEVER let him be forgotten...not ever, and I would try to do my very best to breathe to live every day. This is my story of Losing Joe. Son, I love you to no end, Joseph Anthony Suarez. We will forever be a team my Jeh. ♥️i love u forever, your Meh.♥️

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